


The stars will always shine through the darkest of times

by Ballumftw



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Drinking to Cope, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Kidnapping, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:12:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29183073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ballumftw/pseuds/Ballumftw
Summary: This is a fic where Callum was seriously abused by someone he should have been able to trust when he was a child. Ben  finds out and tries to help him through it.This is a very dark fic.Please read the tags before reading
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please do not read if you are triggered by child sex abuse and self harm. I mean no disrespect to anyone, this is a fic I have wanted to write for so long but was terrified of offending people unintentionally.  
> If you do read it. I would like to know if I should continue it. Many thanks 😊

Ben and Phil were sat in the kitchen eating lunch when Callum came home, tear tracks evident on his face. "Thought you were working today Cal!" Ben said standing up "whats up babe, what's happened?" He asked concerned.  
Callum let out a strangled sob and slid onto the floor. 'Its all such a mess" he broke down in tears. Ben shot a worried look at Phil, before kneeling down next to his distraught fiance.  
"Babe, what's wrong? Cal you are scaring me!" Ben asked firmly, he hadnt ever seen Callum in this state.  
"I can't Ben. Youll hate me, I didn't want anyone to know. You will think I'm weak and dirty. I don't want him to ruin this, its like he is in my head again and i cant make it stop."  
"Who Callum?" Ben asked seriously concerned. "Whos in your head darling?"  
"Edward...oh god" Callum burst into tears.  
"OK, so Edward, what's he done?" Phil asked  
They were interrupted by Stuart bursting in  
"Callum, Jacks just told me." Stuart bent down next to Ben in front of Callum.  
"What is going on?" Phil asked. "And knock next time eh?"  
"Do you want me to tell em Cal?" Stuart asked softly. Callum nodded burying his face in his hands and sobbing as Ben pulled him into his chest to try and comfort him.  
"When Callum was ten he was taken into care after my dad overdosed. They wouldn't let me look after him as I'd been in proper like trouble and stuff. Edward ran the care home. I went to see Callum everyday but one day Edward told us he'd run away with this girl called Natalie, they said they had the police trying to find them but it turned out he was lying. Callum and Natalie was found in a bunker underground in the middle of a forest when he was 14...Edward chained them up down there. He raped them, beat them, drugged them, tortured them for four years" Stuart broke off as Ben started crying aswell. 

"They couldn't prove it was Edward in court, he got let off...but now more kids have been groomed and abused by him, and it's going to a retrial now."  
"I dont want to remember what he did!" Callum sobbed. "I'd finally moved on. Started to forget...I cant do this!"  
"Callum, i.." Ben trailed off wiping away his own tears.  
"I know I'm a stupid dirty whore" Callum choked out. "But I didn't want it...I couldn't get away. He told us he did it because we were unwanted, useless!"  
"Callum don't ever say that, you aren't any of those things" Ben replied softly. "I can't believe he did that to you...its sick" he wiped Callums face, before hugging him.  
"I love you Callum, I'm gonna help you through this" Ben sobbed  
"Youll be alright!" Stuart said "I ain't gonna let him hurt you ever again"  
"You don't get it Stu, he's in my head again. It's like I'm back there, chained up. I can hear him laughing, asking us whether we should be put down like rabid dogs..." Callum sobbed harder into Ben's chest  
"We are here for you, Callum!" Phil said "you're family and we protect our own!"  
"Callum...I love you!" Ben said as he hugged him protectively, cradling Callum against him  
"Damn...I've got to get back to work, I'm already behind" Stuart sighed. "Ring me if you need owt bro, any time...day or night...even if its just to talk" he turned to Ben "look after him yeah" Ben nodded with a small smile as Stuart left  
"I need a drink" Callum said. "I can't deal with this!"  
"I'll go out and get some!" Phil said "least I can do!" 

\-------  
Callum was sat on the sofa, knees drawn into his chest, trembling against Ben who was holding him tightly, running his fingers through Callums hair, trying to comfort amd protect him  
"Its gonna be ok Callum. I'm here" Ben whispered. Callum shook his head. "I dont want to remember what he did Ben." He sniffled into Ben's Chest. "The games he used to play...I cant do it again!" He broke off  
"Ssshhhh" Ben kissed his head. "Whatever you decide I will be here for you!" He reassured Callum in soft tones.  
"I remember the bunker so clearly, the brick walls, the water trickling down the walls, 76 stones in the ceiling, the damp, the dark, the cold." Callum whimpered "I'd finally started to forget, finally put it behind me and now this!"  
Ben held him close. "He had no right to keep you there" he said "no right to do any of it! No matter what he told you...christ Callum you were 10, you were a kid." Ben's tears slid down his cheeks.  
"He had every right!" Callum sat up and downed some vodka "we were unwanted kids, he showed us our true place in society" he parrotted out.  
"That sounds like him talking there Cal. You weren't unwanted darling!"  
"REALLY?" Callum exploded angrily wrenching himself out of Bens embrace "My dad thought getting high was more important than me Ben...and...and Stuart didn't care, he was constantly in and out of jail, that's why we spent four years there. Four fucking years chained up in a tiny cell, no one cared. They said it themselves they couldn't prove it was Edward, they didn't even know we were there, we were a missing persons case that had gone cold pretty much the day we went missing."  
Ben stared at him in shock, tears dripping from his eyes, before he held Callum tightly against him again  
Callum sighed against him. "I just can't do this again Ben, not now and not ever!"  
"I know babe, I know!" Ben tried to soothe his boyfriend, not sure what else he should say.  
"What happened to you though was so wrong!" He looked Callum in the eyes. "And you survived it somehow. You are stronger than you think!"  
Callum shook his head.  
"You are Callum, I would never have guessed you had this in your past, you have hidden it from everyone. It takes strength to do that!"  
"I really don't want to talk about this!" Callum whined. "I never told anyone. I kept quiet, the police used DNA and blood and all sorts of evidence, but we never told them what happened. We couldn't."  
"I'm so sorry Callum, I truly am. I cannot begin to imagine what torture you went through. I'm here for you Callum, anyway you want me to be!"  
Callum smiled a tearful smile.  
"Thanks Ben" he said as there was a loud knock on the door. Ben stood to answer it, finding a solemn looking Jack on his doorstep.  
"Is Callum in please Ben? Need a word"  
"About this Edward guy?" Ben asked  
Jack nodded, "afraid so"  
"come on in then!" Ben replied with a sigh  
"Callum, I'm sorry!" Jack said upon seeing the state Callum was currently in  
"Really?" Callum shook his head with a grimace.  
"Why now Jack, what you think you can put Edward away and make it all better? Drag it all back up again? I was finally happy Jack, finally stopped thinking about what happened to me and Natalie and now? Now I have to relive it all over again. Do you have any idea Jack?" Ben held Callum against him as he broke down in tears, taking the bottle of vodka out of his hands and putting it down on the table gently  
"I am sorry Callum. I worked on your case back when i had not long joined the force. I know what he did to you, without you telling us. The medical reports told us most of it. He tortured both of you as kids, he groomed you and kidnapped you, abused you in every way possible! Hes a monster"  
"He wasn't a monster!" Callum bit out. "He could have killed us and instead he let us go!"  
"He's hurting more kids Callum. We have to stop him!"  
"I dont want no part in it Jack, I can't go back there again. Please!" Callums voice broke with emotion as he remained curled into Ben's side looking broken.  
"I'll give you a few more days to make your mind up, I'm gonna go visit Natalie now, would you like to see her tomorrow? You can...discuss things with her if it helps."  
Callum nodded breathing heavily. "Thank you!"  
"I'll see myself out!" Jack gave a sympathetic smile before he left.  
"Oh Callum!" Ben said softly as he kissed Callums forehead "we will get through this together. Ok? I promise you babe! We will get through this."  
Callum continued sobbing into Ben's chest as Ben held him tightly, carding his fingers through Callum's hair.  
"Im sorry i didnt tell you!" Callum whispered "get engaged and then you find out how much of a freak i really am."  
"Hush, Callum dont be daft. I get why you didnt tell anyone, and you are not a freak baby. People who have gone through what you have are called survivors. Because you are still here, coping with what he did to you every day."  
"I almost wasnt!" Callum admitted softly. "I thought about ending it all...a lot...so did Natalie...she was the only one who understood."  
"Oh babe!" Ben closed his eyes in shock.  
"You ever feel like that again, promise me youll talk to me....i wont judge you...i've never judged you and I aint gonna start now...I promise you, if you ever want to talk about anything, I'll listen to whatever you want to say okay."  
"What about when other people find out? I don't want people knowing."  
"I'm not gonna say anything to anyone babe, neither is my dad, ok. If anyone says anything to upset you, I'll be having words ok! Callum...listen...you were ten years old darlin, a little kid...you shouldn't have to have dealt with what you did! Can i ask a question darlin'? And please dont answer if you arent comfy doing so!"  
Callum nodded "sure" he replied swiping at his eyes.  
"Is...is what happened with Edward...part of the reason you found it hard to...accept that you were gay?" Ben asked gently  
Callum was silent for a few moments. "Yeah" he replied simply "yeah, I guess it was and also my dad being a massive homophobe!"  
Ben smiled sadly, burying his face in Callums hair. "Thank you for telling me that!" He pressed a kiss to Callums forehead. "Do you need anything babe? Something to eat? Or I could run you a nice relaxing bath?"  
Callum smiled slightly. "I'm alright for now baby...honest...I just...I don't know what I want...just please don't leave me Ben...I know I don't want to be alone."  
"I'm not leaving your side!" Ben promised. "I'll be right here next to you! I'm not going anywhere okay?"  
"Thank you!" Callum replied. "I dont deserve you Ben"  
"Yes you do!" Ben insisted "you deserve the world Callum...you just don't realise it yet."  
Callum pulled away and gazed nervously into Ben's eyes. "Are you sure?"  
"I'm certain Callum...you have been so so brave, and you still are being brave. I aint going anywhere ok darlin. I'm here!"  
Callum sniffled "I love you Ben!"  
"And I love you tiger, now and always!"  
They remained curled up together while the TV played in the background lost in their thoughts, before the back door opening and closing, jarred them both out of their thoughts as Phil came in.  
"Sorry, I er...I didn't know if it was alright to come back yet...I don't want to intrude or owt..." Phil sighed. "I just wanted to say Callum that if you need anything, anything at all, I'll do my best to help you ok...if you want to talk or anything, I'll listen okay!"  
"Cheers Phil!" Callum replied with a small smile  
"I'm getting an early night, I'll see you both in the morning yeah?" Ben nodded and Phil slowly made his way up the stairs.  
"Ben...can we...I dunno...go for a walk? Need to get out!" Callum asked  
"Sure we can!" Ben replied. "I'll grab our coats yeah?"  
"Can I take the vodka with us?"  
Ben nodded sadly. "You dont have to ask permission Cal babe, you can do what you feel you need to!"  
Callum smiled softly at Ben, who shortly returned with their coats.  
They stepped out into the cold winter air of Albert Square, the stars shining in the sky as Ben slipped his hand into Callums, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Ready?" He asked Callum who took a deep breath and nodded.  
They ended up on the swings. Callum staring at the stars while swigging the vodka, before passing the bottle to Ben, who politely had a few sips before passing it back.  
"What ya thinking Cal?" Ben asked him gently  
Callum let out a small strained laugh. "I remember the night the police found us in the bunker. There were no windows in the bunker, just a few air vents for oxygen ya know." Ben nodded letting Callum get it off his chest. "I just remember being unshackled and taken outside and the stars...they were beautiful Ben...i hadn't seen the sky in ages. The stars they were just shining and it just...it just felt so good to finally see them!" He smiled "Edward must have found a way of letting them know where we were...we never thought he would let us live, so to see the stars, breathe in the fresh air...it was heaven Ben." Callum wiped his eyes.  
"I can imagine!" Ben smiled supportively at Callum.  
"I ain't doing it Ben...I can't relive it...I cant help Jack"  
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to Callum. I aint going to judge you. But I am here to talk to, you aren't alone baby, ok...I'm just worried about you!"  
"I'm just scared Ben...so fucking scared!" Callum admitted having another drink. "I'm scared of remembering it all. It's like I learnt to block it all out, and I don't know how I did that, and now everything is flooding back and I don't know how to make it go away again."  
Ben held Callums hand. "We will work it out baby...okay...I don't know how you managed it either, but maybe...maybe you can get closure somehow...put it to rest for good?"  
Callum nodded, still staring at the stars  
"And you'll help me?" He asked  
"Every step of the way baby. I promise!" 

\---------------------- 

Hey, so this is a super angsty story. (Edward is basically Edward from Hollyoaks as he was a perfect villian character) it's was floating in my head and i was unsure whether to write it or not.  
More chapters soon.


	2. I remember everything!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum sees Natalie, and Ben helps him find the strength to revisit the bunker.

It was an uneasy sleep that claimed both Ben and Callum that night. Ben held Callum close against him as they slept, Trying to offer his fiance every bit of support and comfort he could even in sleep.   
Ben was woken up by Callum thrashing in his arms, his head swinging from side to side as he started muttering frantically, holding his arms above his head as though defending himself from punches. Ben sat up next to Callum, finally alert enough to understand what Callum was frantically muttering.  
"Please, no more please, Edward please stop. Please please no more please."   
"Cal? Callum baby, your dreaming ok, you are safe. Its ok." Ben slowly reached out to take hold of Callums shoulder. Suddenly Callum screamed loudly jerking away and almost falling out of bed in the process. Ben heard his dad's bedroom door fling open shortly followed by his owm bedroom door.  
"I heard screaming" Phil explained as he saw Callum curled up in a ball, sobbing to be left alone, pleading with Edward.  
"Its a nightmare dad, I dont...he won't wake up. He's terrified."  
"Just keep trying...the alcohol will make it hard for him to wake up, just keep trying Ben yeah." Phil encouraged his terrified son.  
"Callum, its me Ben...you are ok, you are safe, there is no one here to hurt you." Ben whispered repeatedly in Callums ear, after a few minutes of sobbing and pleading Callum eventually fell silent. Ben looked at Phil, tears streaming down his face.  
"He looks like he's starting to wake up. I'll go and bring you both a hot brew up." Phil said smiling sadly at Callum. "He's been through a lot, this won't be the last nightmare he has believe me."  
Phil said before padding down to the kitchen in his pyjamas.   
Callum jerked awake in a cold sweat, his unfocused eyes roaming the room. Ben was careful not to touch him in case he startled him.  
"Baby?" He whispered "you had a nightmare, you are ok now, you are safe" he put his hand down palm side up for Callum to take if he wanted to.  
"I...I..." Callum shook his head as if to clear it.  
"Ben?"   
"Yeah it's me, I'm right here." Ben replied softly.   
"You had a nightmare babe, its ok now, you are ok." Callum hesitantly reached out and took Ben's hand, his breathing rapid.  
"My dads gonna bring us both a nice hot brew up babe, ok? Lets try and calm your breathing down yeah?"   
Callum whimpered not caring how weak he sounded, as he fell against Ben's chest sobbing.  
"Easy babe, I got ya, I got ya Callum!" Ben ran his hand through Callums hair in a soothing motion as he saw his dad quietly enter and place their brews on the bedside, before winking and leaving them to it.   
"Can you remember what it was about, your nightmare? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to though!" Ben whispered.  
"Just Edward being rough with us as normal!" Callum whispered. "I dont...I'm sorry!" He shook his head, unable to continue.  
"Hey, don't apologise, it's okay!" Ben pressed a kiss to Callums head. "Its just you and me now okay, you don't have to be strong for me. You don't have to talk about anything that you don't want to..." Callum sniffled into his chest  
"Hey I tell you what, why don't we have our brews yeah? You look really pale and shaky Callum, I think a hot brew will help you yeah?"  
Callum nodded as Ben slowly and carefully reached out and passed him a cup of strong and sweet tea.  
"Thanks Ben...I'm so sorry, I dont know what's wrong with me. I can't...I can't think straight...everything is just so confusing right now." He sipped his tea, still leaning into Ben's side.   
"There is nothing wrong with you Callum...you are just trying to cope, you don't ever have to apologise to me for this." Ben replied softly pressing soft kisses into Callums hair.  
"But we were happy Ben, now you have to deal with all this shit aswell!"  
"We are still happy, I meant what I said, I'm going to get you through this, no matter what it takes ok? This isn't your fault Callum. He was the adult, and you were the child."  
Callum nodded slowly, finishing his brew, as Ben sipped his own slowly, holding Callum against him. "Do you want to try and get some more sleep?" Ben asked gently  
"I...I dunno Babe, yeah I guess?" Callum whispered   
"Come on then darlin, let's lay down yeah, I'm not going anywhere, I'll be right here by your side!" Ben tried to reassure him.  
Callum put his empty cup on the bedside table before curling up against Ben and closing his eyes, drifting into sleep.  
Ben took longer to fall asleep, silent tears sliding down his face as he held Callums sleeping form against him, wrapping him tightly in his arms.  
\-------------  
The sunlight broke through a gap in the curtains the next morning, causing Ben to stir. He blearily gazed at Callum who was still fast asleep in his arms. He sighed gently, it all felt so surreal still. Callums tortured past, which he had only found out about yesterday was destroying the man he loved. He managed to slowly slide out from out of the bed without disturbing Callum before grabbing his phone and padding quietly down to the kitchen, closing the door behind him with a soft click. He stuck the kettle on, setting up two cups before pulling out his phone and ringing Jay.  
"Ey up Ben, what's up? I've only just woke up myself" Jay answered yawning down the phone causing Ben to smile slightly  
"Er Jay. I won't be in work this week, I can't leave Callum right now, he's having a breakdown and I'm sorry but I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone the reason."  
"Is he alright?" Jay sounded concerned.  
"I dunno Jay, he's not in a good way. I don't want to leave him." Ben admitted   
"Yeah, take as much time as you need bro. If you need anything, let me know alright."  
"Could you tell Lola I probably won't be able to have Lexi tonight for me?"  
"Sure thing bro. Right I'm gonna grab some breakfast, you look after that man of yours alright?"  
Ben smiled sadly. "I will Jay, cheers bro!" He said hanging up and pouring the brews out.   
He was just putting the milk back in te fridge when he heard the kitchen door open, turning towards the doorway he saw Callum there.  
"Babe, I was just about to bring you a brew up!" Ben greeted him.  
"I didn't know where you were." Callum admitted softly "I thought you'd left me!"  
"I'm never leaving you Babe, I've told Jay somethings come up and I can't go to work for a bit, he's fine with that! I'm all yours okay, I'm gonna get you through this somehow!" Ben told him, enveloping Callum in a hug.  
"Ben, I can't ask you to do that!"  
"You aren't...I'm offering, I dont want to leave you on your own, not now"  
Callum smiled kissing Ben's head. "Thank you!"   
"Come on, let's go into the living room and have these brews eh?"  
Callum nodded, picking up his brew and followed Ben into the living room, sitting next to him on the sofa.  
"How are you?" Ben asked stroking Callums cheek.  
Callum sighed before shrugging. "I dont know!" He replied as honestly as he could. "I dont really feel...anything...I don't know...I'm just so confused I guess." Ben kissed him.   
"Why don't we go out today or something, see if your friend Natalie wants to come along?"  
"That sounds great, thank you!" Callum smiled  
"I'll text her in a bit, see if she wants to meet up"  
Ben sipped his coffee, "whats she like then Natalie?"  
"Shes a lot of fun Nat, never a dull moment." Callum smiled "she grows on ya!"  
Ben shook his head smiling as he flicked on the TV to some early morning chat show.   
‐---------------  
Ben and Callum were waiting for Natalie at the tube station. "Hey you!" Natalie shouted running over. She was the same height as Ben, skinny with long black hair, tied up in a messy bun.   
"Natalie!" Callum hugged her. "This is my fiance Ben!"  
"Hi, nice to meet ya!" Natalie said, giving Ben a hug, before she turned to Callum. "What the fuck is going on with our lives right now Callum?" She giggled "when Jack told me last night, couldn't fucking believe it!"   
"Tell me about it...my brains proper mashed with it all!" Callum admitted "feel better now I've seen you're okay though" he smiled at her   
They got the tube into Central London for a day out, stopping at a cafe for some breakfast.  
"You gonna tell em?" Natalie asked after their food was brought over.  
"I dont think so no..." Callum replied "I just want to forget it ever happened. Not drag it all up again!"   
"Same, but I also want him to pay for what he did." Natalie said.   
"So do I, but I can't talk about it." Callum sighed.  
"Jack mentioned maybe visiting the bunker where we were kept." Natalie admitted "I'm not going if you don't!"   
"I'll have to think about it Nat, I dunno."   
Ben sighed "I still can't believe he got away with what he did to you both. Its wrong for you to have suffered so much while he stays a free man."   
"I know!" Natalie agreed "can we talk about something else. I've still got a hang over, drank way too much with my dad last night, got absolutely hammered!"  
"Same, I was on the vodka last night!" Callum grinned "woke up with a right sore head this morning."  
"Think my dad is still in bed actually!" Natalie giggled.   
"Bless him, Marcus, Natalie's dad is a proper legend." Callum grinned at Ben.  
"Yeah it's his birthday in a couple of weeks, gonna look out for a present for him today, get him something nice!" Natalie added.  
\---------  
Later that evening after Natalie had gone home, Ben and Callum were in the Vic for a quick pint, when Jay came over. "Alright you two?"   
Callum nodded plastering a smile on his face.   
Ben froze slightly hoping Jay wouldn't ask about Callums breakdown as Callum didn't know Jay knew even that much. "Yeah we are okay!" Ben replied softly. "Want a pint Jay?" Callum asked as he stood to go to the bar.  
"Yeah cheers mate!"   
"He looks alright" Jay said to Ben when they were alone.   
"He's faking it Jay, he doesn't know I've told you either. He's actually in a really bad way. He won't open up about what is going on. Im just trying to keep an eye on him. I'm really worried" He said. "How was work then?" He said as he noticed Callum starting to come back over. "Same old!" Jay said "billy is deciding to move out, and to be honest im glad...oh cheers Callum" he said as Callum popped his pint in front of him.  
"Yeah?" Ben asked  
"Yeah, hes started being a right twat!" Jay shook his head.  
Just then Callums phone rang. "Ey Nat!" He answered brightly. "What? Oh my god...are you for real? No this cant be happening are you sure? Oh god...right....alright ring us as soon as you hear anything."  
"Callum?" Ben asked laying his hand on Callums arm as he hung up "whats wrong?"   
"Its gonna be all over the news!" Callum gasped out. "I just want to forget, can they not just let me forget Ben. Its gone to some high court now. The papers want all the juicy details." A tear slid down his face as Ben hugged him. "I told you last night we will get through this together Callum, it wasnt your fault."   
"Whats er...going on?" Jay asked confused  
"Callum?" Ben asked him "can i tell him...hes not gonna judge you, he can help look out for you?"  
"You can tell him, but not here Ben. I cant do this! Im going home!" he stood up followed by Ben, Jay quickly downing his pint and following them home.  
\-------------- 

Callum went for a shower giving Ben some time to explain what he knew so far to Jay.  
"Right, when Callum was younger, a man called Edward kidnapped Callum and his friend Natalie and kept them in a bunker, locked away for four years, he beat them, drugged them, he did everything to them. Callum said that he'd never told anyone, he knew Edward wouldn't allow them to tell anyone."  
"Wait...Callum is one of the Bunker kids?" Jay asked shocked  
"Bunker kids?" Ben asked confused  
"When it went to trial the first time, i remember hearing about these 2 kids that were found in the bunker. No one knew who they were, their identities were protected, they were called the bunker kids, but I know he made them kids suffer...oh my god...I had no idea!" Jay sighed sadly. "So why has it all come back to a head now? What's changed?"  
"More victims recently coming forward means he's being reinvestigated and Jack says they want justice for Natalie and Callum, but i think Callum feels its too little too late."  
"Yeah, i can understand that!" Jay agreed "my god. Poor lad. I would never have guessed Callum was one of those two kids man...never!"  
"Thats how he wanted if to be Jay, i only just found out last night, and he wont talk about it, not that he has to...i just want to help him."  
"Just dont push him too hard mate, let him come to you." Jay advised Ben. "I can't begin to imagine how hard this is for him...or you for that matter! I meant what I said this morning yeah, take as much time off as you need to get him through this yeah?" He said as Callum started to walk down the stairs.  
"Feeling better baby?" Ben asked  
"No" Callum muttered "I'm not! I dont understand why this has to come out in the news. Why can't they just leave it alone Ben?"   
Ben hugged him close. "I dunno darlin, but we will deal with it together" he promised "I love you Callum, this doesn't change anything between us ok? I just want to help you through this!"  
Callum nodded sniffling into Ben's shoulder.  
"I dont want to be a burden on you Ben" he admitted sadly.  
"Hey, you could never be a burden on me ya big doughnut!" Ben chuckled kissing Callums forehead. "I love you way too much for that"  
"Look Callum, you ever need owt, I'm here for ya!" Jay said firmly "I ain't gonna say owt to anyone. I just want you to know you can count on me aswell and I think you are so brave Callum, trust me yeah, you are doing alright!" He clapped Callum on the shoulder. "I'd best get back, just remember what I said yeah?"   
When Jay had gone Callum sat down on the sofa burying his head in his hands.  
"Do you want something to eat tiger? we aint had no tea yet!" Ben asked softly as he sat next to him, a worried expression on his face.  
"Nah im not hungry, my stomach is in knots!" Callum admitted "dont let me stop you though babe!"  
"I'll make sure I get something later!" Ben smiled reassuringly at him "just worried about you!"   
"I've just got to roll with the punches now ain't I...nothing I can do. Its out my hands." Callum sounded defeated.  
There was a knock on the door and Ben opened the door to find Gray there. "I just want to check on Callum, I'm the lawyer representing all of his victims at the trial."  
"Sure, come on in!" Ben smiled "Grays here to see you babe, do you want me to leave you to it?"  
Callum shook his head.  
"I am going to drive out to the bunker now, with Jack, Natalie is already in the car but she doesn't want to do it without you. It might help Callum. It's worth a shot, and Ben can come with us."  
Callum thought it over, worry evident in his eyes, before he nodded. "Ben will you-"  
"Of course Cal, I'll come with you!" Ben reassured him.  
The drive to the bunker was quiet, Natalie was in the passenger seat staring out of the window, Ben and Callum in the back seat, holding hands and Jack was following with some more police officers in the car behind.   
"Left after the clearing, drive through the forest, follow the wall!" Natalie pointed as they drove down the country lane. "Its about a five minute walk off the track."   
They soon pulled up, Callum trembling with nerves as he unbundled his belt and stepped out of the car.  
Callum and Natalie walked forwards towards the wall, and started lifting up the ivy grown over the wall at the edge of the forest until they found a rusted metal door, and pushed it open slowly. Ben walked up to Callum, holding his hand to offer his support, before they followed Natalie inside. Ben was horrified at what he saw. A small cold stone room acted as the entrance way, and then steel bars like a jail cell with a door with a large lock partitioned off another smaller larger room, with large shackles bolted into the walls in the back two corners. The place was badly illuminated by a flickering strip light making it look like something out of a horror movie. Callum pushed the cell door open and stepped in. "That was my side!" He said pointing to the left set of iron shackles on the wall "and that was Nat's" he pointed to the opposite side. "We had some blankets and stuff, and a desk?" He sounded confused before Jack spoke softly behind them. "Taken for evidence, the same day you were found. Impossible to take the cuffs of the wall though, not for lack of trying!"   
Ben glanced around, feeling sick. The damp in the air was stifling, water dripping from the stones in the ceiling. He remembered Callum telling him how many stones were in the ceiling, the prison where he had been kept for four years. He breathed trying to get a grip on his emotions as Callum bent down feeling the coolness of the stones, before he suddenly pushed through everyone racing outside, Ben following hurriedly behind as Callum fell onto his hands and knees retching. Ben rubbed his back.  
"Oh my god Cal, I can't believe he kept you there. I'm so sorry babe. You didn't deserve that! It's so wrong!" Ben blinked back tears as Callum broke into sobs. "I remember it Ben!" He cried out in distress "I remember everything!"

Please let me know what you think, if you have any suggestions for the storyline going forwards?   
Thanks for reading


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum opens up to Ben, and Ben helps him make sense of everything.

Ben held Callum against him, as they sat on the cold forest floor. Callum was sobbing against him, and Ben felt as though his heart was breaking too, the bunker had shocked him, he couldn't believe the cruelty of this Edward guy, the bunker wasn't fit for a dog to sleep in let alone two terrified young kids.   
"Shhhh, I'm here baby, I'm here!" Ben murmered into Callums hair as Gray came over, crouching down next to them. "I'm sorry Callum, I just thought it might help." Gray sighed "I knew it wouldn't be easy for you and for that I'm sorry!  
"It has helped." Callum admitted wiping his eyes his breathing shallow. "In a way...it just seems smaller than I remember...the bunker."  
"Thats because your not a small child anymore Callum, you've got bigger, grown up." Gray explained kindly as Ben watched Natalie being comforted by Jack tears streaming down her face as she stumbled out of the bunker.  
"I want to go home!" Callum pleaded "I just want to go home!"  
"Okay, I tell you what, I'll take you, Ben and Natalie back now ok? But I do feel that you need to talk about this Callum. Maybe if you don't feel that you can talk, you could write what you remember down for us?" Gray suggested kindly   
Callum shrugged into Ben's shoulder "I'll think about it!" He muttered, as Ben kissed his hair.  
\------------  
Gray followed Callum and Ben into the living room, as Callum sat down on the sofa feeling exhausted.   
"Like i said Callum, im on your side. One hundred percent. I will always believe what you decide to tell me. What Edward did was...wrong on so many levels" Gray sighed. "I just want justice for you, Natalie and his other victims."  
"I'm NOT a victim! I'm not!" Callum protested.   
"OK!" Gray placated as he held his hands up "I just want to help you through this, I remember hearing about you when I first started law school, even though I didn't know it was you at the time. I told myself that if I ever had a chance to put him away I would do. And I will!" Gray said passionately. "I'll come round tomorrow okay, but you did amazing, going back to that bunker. You should be so proud of yourself." He said with a kind smile before leaving.  
"Stupid question, but are you alright?" Ben asked softly as he sat next to Callum, holding his hand  
Callum shook his head. "No...I'm really not okay. It all came flooding back to me when I was in there. How terrified I was, how much I've convinced myself since we came out of there, that what I went through was justified, deserved even...but now I...how could he do that to me? to Nat?" His voice broke "I hate him...i hate him so much Ben. But he got us out of that bunker, no one would have found us there Ben, we would have died in there...but he saved us...I cant help but feel like I owe him for that?"  
"You don't owe him anything Babe, not after what he put you through. He probably just didn't want a double child murder on his rap sheet."  
"I'm so confused Ben...It used to be so easy to believe what he said, but now... everything is all twisted up ..nothing makes sense..." Callum trailed off looking lost as Ben pulled him against him, pressing a kiss to his head.  
"You were kids, he was an adult. Kids believe adults yeah? Its what they do...he told you what he had to, to get you to believe that he was justified in doing what he was doing to you. He wasn't though, okay Callum, he was a paedophile." Callum shivered at the word. "He gained your trust and used it against you. He groomed you!"  
"No, it...it wasn't like that!" Callum sounded confused.  
"Callum, if Lexi had been in that bunker-"  
"Yeah but she's wanted!" Callum interjected  
"It doesn't matter, if she's wanted or not...God's sake Callum, believe me when I say this please. It wasn't your fault. Hes a predator...he knew exactly what to say to you, how to exploit your weaknesses. I seen that bunker today Callum and I felt sick, no one has any right to keep a child in a place like that, chained to a wall whether they were wanted or not!"  
"We weren't always chained up!" Callum admitted "if we had been good, sometimes we could have a day or two where we were uncuffed, he set us schoolwork at the desk and we could read the textbooks. He bought me a birthday cake on my birthday every year we were there...candles and everything. I can't remember the last time my dad had remembered my birthday let alone celebrated it...he cared about me more than my own dad did, at least that's what I thought while I was in there." Callum wiped the tears from his eyes.  
"Oh baby!" Ben whispered holding Callum against him. "I can't even imagine how scared and confused you are right now...but you didn't do anything to deserve what he did to you, he may have treated you nice sometimes but he still hurt you, traumatised you, he's an evil man!"  
Callum didn't respond burying his head in Ben's shoulder and sobbing.  
"Hush Cal, I'm here, I'm here!" Ben stroked Callums hair "it's ok, let it out, it's all going to be ok!" He whispered.  
Eventually Callum drew back. "Thank you for coming with me...I couldn't have done it on my own"  
"I told you I'm here for you the whole way through this and I mean it. Gray was right, you were super brave, going back there!"  
"I dont feel it Ben, I feel scared."  
"I know you do, and it's ok to be scared Callum. What you went through...what that...man put you through...I cant begin to imagine how much you want to forget it...but if you choose to give evidence then I will support you, I will do whatever you need me to do to help you through it." Ben kissed Callum tenderly. "I'm proud of you babe, I'm so so proud of you!"  
He held Callum against him protectively.  
"You look exhausted Callum, and you need to eat! You havent eaten much today hun"  
"I'm not hungry!"  
"I know darling, I know...believe me but you haven't eaten all day...please baby, even if it's just some toast yeah? Please eat something, do it for me yeah?"  
Callum nodded looking embarrassed  
"Thanks...Look, watch some TV or something yeah, ill get some tea and toast for us both ok hun?" Ben passed him the remote, kissed him on the forehead before he walked into the kitchen.  
He flicked the kettle on. He wasn't particularly hungry either but knew Callum would probably not eat if he didn't. The bunker had felt stifling, as though he could still feel the desperation, sadness and pain that had been felt there all those years ago by his fiancè. Callum was so strong, stronger than he had ever realised.  
He stuck some bread in the toaster and grabbed the jam and butter out of the fridge. He closed his eyes briefly, trying to forget the sight of the harsh iron shackles, the cuffs he had noticed were big enough for a young child, but too small for an adult. He leant against the kitchen counter trying to pull himself together. The toast popped up startling him out of his thoughts, as he quickly grabbed two plates out of the cupboard. When the toast and tea was ready, he grabbed a wooden tray and set everything on it before carrying it through to the living room.  
Callum didnt even notice when Ben came in, the TV was on, playing a boring looking gameshow and Callum was staring at a spot on the wall, lost in thought.  
"Here we go babe!" Ben smiled as he set the tray on the table, passing Callum some toast.  
"Thanks" Callum took the plate, taking a small bite of the toast.   
"How about I run you a nice bath after this and we can get an early night yeah?" Ben said eating his own toast. Callum nodded with a small smile.  
"I just can't stop thinking about that bunker Ben. I don't know how I ever managed to forget."  
"You didn't forget, you repressed it, because it was painful and traumatic to keep thinking about it, I can't stop thinking about it either. I can't believe anyone would be cruel enough to keep you there."  
"Natalie was always good to talk to, she made it....better than being alone. I kept Natalie going and she kept me going when we didn't think we could." Callum admitted "I guess we just got used to it being our new normal!"  
Ben shook his head. "I..." he broke off not knowing what to say, taking Callums hand in his own. "What did your dad say about it all?"  
"Said that if we were stupid enough to let ourselves get locked in a bunker then we deserved everything we got, and forbade me to ever speak about it again!"  
"What? You can't believe that?" Ben was outraged "you were kids, didn't he care? oh I swear that man is something else!" He tried to control his breathing. "And you wonder how you managed to forget...your dad practically forced you too. He should have got you therapy, helped you through it, helped you understand it wasn't your fault!"   
Callum sighed with a shrug. "I dont want to talk about it anymore...not tonight...please?"  
"Sorry, look let's take your mind off it for now, get you a nice relaxing soak in the bath, yeah?" Ben apologised drinking his coffee.  
Callum nodded slowly   
\----------------  
"Is Callum in?" Jack said after Ben opened the door.  
"Hes having a bath, he's not having a fun time of it right now Jack, seeing that bunker again has taken it out of him." Ben replied sighing  
"I can imagine, we didn't mean to upset him!"  
"I know, I think it's helped him realise it wasn't his fault!"  
"I've managed to keep their names out of the papers completely, ok...I cant imagine what hell Edward put them through and is still putting them through. Everyone down at the station loves Callum to bits, he's a really good copper...we are doing everything we can to make sure we can keep this as private as we can, and when the trial has finished, I want him to take as much time as he needs until he's alright to return to work. No rush alright?"  
"Thank you Jack, we appreciate it...truly!"  
"No worries, i also just needed to say that er...Callum used to struggle with self harming when he came out of the bunker, so did Natalie."  
"He said they thought about ending it but I didn't know it was...oh god!" Ben slumped against the doorway.  
"Yeah, they used to cut themselves...its just to say, I've got people he can talk to if he seems to go down that road again, yeah I can get him help for it...I just thought it was worth mentioning!"   
"Thank you, seriously, it means a lot!"  
"Right, I'd best be off. Hopefully knowing his name won't be mentioned is a big relief for him!"  
"I'm sure it will be...cheers Jack." 

"Hey Callum" Ben said as he walked into the bathroom to find Callum drying his hair. "Jacks just told me that the papers and the news aren't going to mention your name at all ok. They are making sure everyone respects your privacy!"  
"Really?" Callum asked looking hopeful.  
"Yep!" Ben hugged him "Jack said everyone at the station is working hard to make sure you get justice and that no names are being given out at all outside of the station."  
"Thats such a relief!" Callum breathed into Ben's neck. "Oh I can't believe it!"  
"He's on your side babe, just like I am, and Gray, my dad, Jay. We all just want to help you through this as much as we can. We know that this is so hard for you, you are amazing Callum. You really are!"  
Callum just smiled, holding Ben tightly against him. "Love you Ben!"  
"And I love you...Come on then darling, let's get an early night. I'm knackered and you look dead on your feet!"  
Callum nodded as he chucked the towels in the laundry hamper and followed Ben into the bedroom, where they slowly fell asleep, curled up against each other tightly , both offering comfort to the other even in sleep

\---------------------  
So that's it! I was thinking maybe Edward could try and contact Callum in the next chapter, let me know what ideas you have, they may be better than mine are!   
Thanks for reading


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